Uncertainty

Avoidance of any concept past today,
As today’s burdens are intoxicating enough to process.
No matter what I finish,
There will always be something left undone,
Some reason I am not perfect.
Some reason why I cannot live fully yet,
And by live fully I mean breathe without holding my breath
For what is coming.
It is not a good feeling,
To keep sustaining it for years.
I keep thinking, one more year, and I will know.
I will be safe from the uncertainty that haunts me.
And every year,
Things so change,
That I step further from the coast into the ocean.